Kids are Perfect Mirrors of Their Parents
I have heard the saying "kids are perfect mirrors of their parents" many times before. As young children, we imitate our parents, absorb information from them, and develop a perception of the world through them. The connection between a child and a parent goes much deeper than learning lessons from them. As products of our parents, we are able to understand them on a sort of below the surface level. By this I mean that some things can be communicated between children and parents without the use of words, and some of these things we don't even realize we are absorbing. In the final chapter of Fun Home, Alison spends time talking about and reflecting on her last interactions with her father (Bruce). While acknowledging that Alison's father has done some things wrong in his life, Alison focuses more on his positive aspects and how her father made profound impacts on her throughout the time she spent with him. The impacts her father made on her played a pivotal role in her coming of age and in helping her find the person she is today.
One instance that stood out to me in the story was the scene where Alison and her father were at the diner in chapter four. The female trucker wearing masculine clothing stood greatly stood out to Alison, "In the city, in a luncheonette - We saw a most unsettling sight - I didn't know there were women who wore men's clothes and had men's haircuts. - ... - Someone they've never spoken to but know by sight--I recognized her with a surge of joy" (117,118). What I found most interesting about this passage was how Alison was initially unsettled, but then reacted with a surge of joy. Her history of looking up to these women as a young girl who rejected femininity but never being able to see these women in person is what led her to be initially "unsettled" upon seeing one, but then joyful as she understands what she is seeing. Her father notices as well, and points her out to Alison, "Dad recognized her too. - 'Is that what you want to look like?' - What else could I say? - 'No.'" (118,119). At this point in the story we are aware that Bruce is hiding his gay identity, despite Alison being unaware at this point in her life. Ashamed by himself, Bruce attempts to dissuade Alison from looking up to these women and aligning herself with her emerging lesbian identity. However, this does not work, as Alison notes, "But the vision of the truck driving bulldyke sustained me through the years..." (119). Despite Alison's father trying to verbally instill a lesson into her, Bruce cannot get through the deeper underlying connections which exist between Alison and Bruce, which are realized only later on in Alison's life. This is silent communication from Bruce to Alison, but Bruce does not realize he is communication and Alison understands his communication.
Alison and her father are able to connect deeper through literature they share than in their own physical interactions with each other. Throughout the story, Alison shows scenes of her father giving her books to read. In chapter seven during her college years, Alison returns home and her father provides her with copies of Ulysses by James Joyce (which she is reading for her college English class) as well as Dubliners by James Joyce and Earthly Paradise by Colette. While I have personally never read any of these books, I understand that all three include subtle references to homosexuality. Alison mentions how Paris as a setting in Earthly Paradise has connections to her own journey of self discovery: [for context, Alison is discussing Homer's The Odyssey and uses its backstory to connect to Earthy Paradise] "The elaborate backstory to The Odyssey, the Trojan War, is often blamed on Helen of Troy - But she couldn't have run off with Paris if he'd never shown up. - Paris play a similarly inciting role in my odyssey too. - [Bruce while handing Alison Earthly Paradise:] 'You should learn about Paris in the twenties, that whole scene.'" (204,205). As Alison is in the middle of her own "odyssey", the fact that these books discuss homosexuality strikes Alison hard, and leads Alison in the direction of believing that her father may have given her these books on purpose, "I hadn't mentioned my big lesbian epiphany yet. So dad's choice was interesting, to say the least." (205). Bruce remains vocally silent to Alison about his true identity for the entirety of the story until Alison's mother reveals the truth after Bruce's death. The idea of using literature as a form of silent communication is especially plausible as Bruce is an English teacher. This is what struck me as a form of silent communication between a parent and a child. I also found the fact that Bruce was gay and then Alison becoming lesbian as an example of a child mirroring a parent but not realizing it.
I think that phrase perfectly matches this book. I think it's interesting though, that while Bruce and Alison reflect each other, they also mirror each other in that they are almost opposites, but with similar experiences. I also think that it's interesting that this mirror of each other is what keeps Alison feeling connected to her father after his death, showing the immense impact this mirror has on Alison. During their life they had literature to connect them, but in death she grieves by connecting them through their queer identities. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI believe Bruce being an english teacher and giving Alison books with queer themes suggests that he knew about the similarities in their childhood. They served as a bridge between them even in an unstable household. The diner scene shows how Bruce was trying to suppress something in Alison that reflected an internal struggle with himself. Ultimately, Alison does follow a similar path to Bruce's, but she is able to break free and embrace brace who she is.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really interesting post, and I think you make some really compelling points! The title caught my eye, and I think it's a really good representation of Fun Home, and specifically the relationship between Alison and her father. When Alison is a kid, it seems like she is literally the furthest thing she can be from her father, but as she grows up, she starts to realize that they're more alike than she ever could've imagined. I think the most interesting thing about this phrase is the fact that children are described as mirrors of their parents; they aren't purposefully trying to copy how their parents turned out, but instead are involuntarily becoming the same as their parents, and I think this theme is very present in Fun Home.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your claim about children being products of their parents, and I also like your description of Bruce and Alison's main interactions being through literature as opposed to direct conversation. Him giving her books to read is, as you point out, a more intense way of conveying messages to her than simply stating them to her, and it certainly seems more effective.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to know--really, impossible--what Bruce is thinking as he loans Alison these particular books, although I do love this whole aspect of their relationship (as a parent and teacher who very much enjoys pointing younger readers toward books that were influential on me). He is legitimately interested in the 1920s Paris scene more generally, as are LOTS of people--it's a fascinating moment in cultural history, and it does seem that Bruce's interest is grounded as much in his fandom of Fitzgerald, Hemingway, Joyce. But then, he DOES pick the Collette memoir as the book that will introduce Alison to "that whole scene," so maybe on some level he IS picking up on the fact that the lesbian-focused memoir would be of interest to her? He could easily have lent her Hemingway's _A Movable Feast_, which is his late memoir of the era. But it could equally be the more general intuition that Alison may respond more strongly to a woman's perspective on the scene, not necessarily a *lesbian* perspective. We just don't KNOW, and neither does Alison. MAYBE Bruce WAS fascinated with 1920s Paris in part because it was a rare example of a queer community, but we also know that he modeled his early relations with Helen on the Fitzgeralds, so who knows? Sharing a book with someone is a pretty indirect form of "communication"--we assume the reader will see and take away what WE see and take away from the text, and likewise the reader might wonder why this particular book was loaned to them, and they may be focusing on entirely the "wrong" parts of it.
ReplyDeleteHey Pieter, I find the mirror legend to fit even better to Alison and Bruce than you may have intended, as mirrors reverse the image we see, and Alison and Bruce are almost perfect inversions of each other. Alison herself acknowledges this, stating how she was "the Spartan to [her] father’s Athenian. Modern to his Victorian” (Bechdel 15). So Bruce did have that unspoken connection with Alison, which ended up making her a perfect opposite to him. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThe parallels in Fun Home are really interesting to look at once you find them, and most of them lie between Alison and Bruce as expected. I like how you pointed out their communication transcending the verbal dimension and how Alison unconsciously follows after her father.
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ReplyDeleteHi Pieter,
ReplyDeleteThe quote you mentioned does seem to be a key theme in this book. After all, the book sort of poses Alison's life as Bruce's life "in a parallel universe" -- while she had the freedom of exploration and resources to bolster her suspicions such as the LGBTQ club she went to, Bruce did not have any of these opportunities growing up in the 50's and the lavender scare. Alison is indeed a mirror of Bruce (with opposite genders, of course: while Bruce desired to be a feminine man, Alison saw herself as a masculine woman). Great post!
Hi Pieter, first of all, your blog title was very captivating! About your blog itself, your analysis about the littlest details about Bruce and Alison's relationship was really good! Details that I definitely overlooked given context now reveal even more layers to the complex Fun Home. The part that really caught my attention was your reasoning about Bruce giving Alison books instead of just having a conversation with her. Your blog helped focusing outside the big picture. Great blog!
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